The Saddest Decision ...

I'm writing this early because I won't be able to later ...

After over 13 years of love, loyalty, and companionship, the time has come for us to say goodbye to our beloved Sasha. I've been caught in a struggle between my head, which is telling me it's the right thing to do, and my heart which says we can keep looking after her for a while yet. We've known this day would be coming but I haven't been able to acknowledge it.

Sasha's spirit is still willing (and her 'attitude' is as apparent as ever) but her physical ailments have significantly impacted her quality of life. When I see her struggle to get up or hobble along for even a short distance or groan with pain when we have to roll her over to sleep, I know the time has come. When she looks at me trustingly with her big soft brown eyes or tucks her head under my chin when I sit beside her on the floor, my conviction wavers.

The wheels have been set in motion, however, and I have to keep telling myself it's the right decision. And yet ...

Come celebrate her life ... (I had earlier written 'commiserate with me' but I think it's more appropriate to remember how she's enriched our lives):

Juxtaposition (jŭkˌstə-pə-zĭshˈən)

I hope I can repeat after Paul (from Philippians 4:11) "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." 

Our daughter's place - where we'll be in 4 weeks:

Where we currently are:

Fallen Leaves

Why should I be the first to fall
Of all the leaves on this old tree?
Though sadly soon I know that all
Will lose their hold and follow me.
While my birth-brothers bravely blow,
Why should I be first to go?

Why should I be the last to cling
Of all the leaves on this bleak bough?
I've fluttered since the fire of Spring
And I am worn and withered now.
I would escape the Winter gale
And sleep soft-silvered by a snail.

When swoop the legions of the snow
To pitch their tents in roaring weather
We fallen leaves will lie below
And rot rejoicingly together;
And from our rich and dark decay
Will laugh our brothers of the May.

[Robert William Service 1874 - 1958]

A return to déjà vu

I've been keeping an eye on this spot. I've driven by it many times over the years and this year I wanted to make sure I captured it before it faded away into the barrenness of winter. I captured this scene about 5 years ago and was fortunate to have it featured on Scott Law's blog (if you haven't seen his work you should).

I'm completely in agreement with Lee Maynard: "I loved autumn, the one season of the year that God seemed to have put there just for the beauty of it." [Lee Maynard]

And to describe this season I find it best to leave it up to the poets:
No Spring nor Summer Beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one Autumnal face. [John Donne]

I've looked at clouds ...

"Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, I've looked at clouds that way ..."
Judy Collins "Both Sides Now" (1969)

I'm a self-confessed cloud watcher - I've been known to grab the camera when interesting cloud formations appear, out of the blue so to speak. As I returned from taking my grandson on a little picnic this past week, I pulled over along the side of the highway to grab a few frames of a scene I had made a mental note of on the way out. And tonight there was an interesting lit-up formation which reminded me of the cloud that lead the Israelites through the desert.

And I've looked at clouds from both sides too but it's the fascination I recall.